Meet the crew

The narrator

Books the Airbnbs, and therefore invokes booker's rights. Snores, and takes the queen bed anyway. Runs up hills, or more accurately hobbles up with breaks. Can turn a can of dried sardines into a puttanesca. Usually ends up in the front seat making small talk with the tour guide. Once met a stranger at an airport gate who became The Beta.

The Alpha

Settled the "who's really the alpha" debate in Buenos Aires the only way that counts: by flooding the Airbnb and winning. Actually runs up the hill. Runs the Rambla too. Doubted The Beta's bag tag from the start. Dances to the sunset with a glass of wine. Her Mandarin impresses strangers.

What if (from a 2014 roast, not reporting): holds more degrees than she has use for, runs on $5 boxed wine, has opinions about public transit that could fill a Twitter account, and will move in with anyone as long as they like cats.

The Beta

Living life as a beta, and fine with it. Tags his own checked bags, loosely. Takes the funicular while everyone else climbs, once on a senior citizen ticket by accident. Still shows up at the top with empanadas. Has fed a rescue sea lion until it gagged. Lost the Great Flood of Buenos Aires.

What if (from a 2019 roast, not reporting): loves Apple and his cat in roughly that order, will push shots on anyone, books every trip on credit card points, and doesn't snore. He's just resting his eyes.

Why pseudonyms?

These are our real trips with our real friends. They signed up for the trip, not the internet. So everyone gets a title instead of a name, and nobody's face shows up here.