The Chartered Traveller hereby reports that Day 1 in South America was executed with the grace of a half-awake penguin.

We skipped our arrivals lounge refuel at SCL, because,  plot twist, nothing was open at 7am. The dream of coffee died fast. Eventually, salvation came in the form of Cafetería Casa Salvo at 8am. Coffee, avocado toast and scrambled eggs kept us from collapsing (even though we weren’t even hungry), and the WiFi let us pretend we were locals as we recapped our yearly goals.

Bags dropped at the Airbnb, laptops still chained to us, we scaled Cerro San Cristóbal. There was an empanada stop, and ES’s bathroom adventure required NN’s escort duty since the women’s washroom had no soap or toilet paper. (This is what friendship looks like.)

Funicular down, Airbnb officially checked in. Our host, friendly Québécois… proving that Canada really is everywhere. Nap time lasted an hour, though it felt like the coma we needed.

Dinner was at Pal’Mar, where ceviche, fried seafood and chicken, and a whole fried fish appeared. Beautiful. Glorious. Gone.

The night wrapped with gin and high art: reels of a man farting on unsuspecting New Yorkers and subway interviews. All of us, dressed in Tech Swag XXL t-shirts, looking like a weird tech cult. DU’s shirt gave him a striking silhouette… somewhere between “expecting” and “just ate two fried fish.”

We went to bed early. Tour guide pickup at 7:30am. Let’s pray for coffee.

With laughter and oversized shirts,

The Chartered Traveller